Oh Yamamoto's gonna be mad!
by FS2011 the real one
Summary: Shun x Fem!Ukitake This story is dedicated to Defiant Vixen as she gave mt e the plot and encouraged me to write this! GENDERBENDER! When Ukitake finds out she's pregnant after a romp with Shunsui, heads are gonna roll once Yamamoto finds out!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Me no own the characters, and the plot was given to me by the AWESOME Defiant Vixen. I'm broke, so no suing!

A.n. so... this is plot is given to me by Defiant Vixen; pls do go check out her story! By the way, I suck at Kido, which is why in this story there is no mention of kido. If anyone could tell me through a review what the name of the Kidos is, I will add them in!

WARNING: UKITAKE IS A FEMALE IN THIS STORY, JUST SO YOU KNOW! And this is probably going to be a three-shot... so ... well, uh... other than that, there is pregnancy mentioned in this fanfic! Just so you know!

Genre: Uh... I'm completely ignoring the original bleach storyline.

**Oh...Yama-chan's gonna kill me!**

"What am I going to do...?" Ukitake muttered under her breathe as she paced around the cramp living space of her dormitory. She was around 100 years old, and was currently studying in the Shinigami academy in order to become a shinigami.

She was a beautiful woman, with well shaped (ahem) assets, a sweet smile, full and pouty lips and a gentle demeanour. However, her most noticeable feature was her soft and silky snowy white hair.

While others regarded her hair as the crown jewel of her beauty as it added to her delicate features a sort of ... fragility, she herself thought that it was a sign of her weakness. Ever since she was young, she had been struck with a disease that caused her hair to be bleached white and caused her to be extremely weak. In an attempt to show that she was truly strong, she decided to go to the shinigami academy and study to be a shinigami.

She thought that she was doing well, after all, this was her last year in the school. The last year before graduation!

Then why on Earth was she pacing around worriedly? Well, that brings us back to the story...

"This isn't happening... this can't be happening! We... we only did it once!" She finally stopped and wailed. The other women which had been sitting on her bed stood up and put her arm around the snowy-haired woman's shoulder.

"It's alright... Ukitake-chan," she whispered softly, "there's no need to worry. Just tell me who the father is and I'll go with you to tell Yamamoto-sama about your pregnancy."

Ukitake bit her lips and looked away.

"Shunsui," She whispered, " Shunsui was the father".

**A.N. So, is it good, is it bad? Pls, read and review! This is only a prologue! Reviewing gives me the motivation to write more!**


	2. Unohana, Dr Fix It!

**Unohana, Dr. Fix It**

A.N. Wow! I actually got some reviews! Thanks to anyone that has read this and please read and review for this next chapter! Constructive criticism is welcomed and flames that are meant to be hurtful shall be used to make my fondue. (Eats fondue)

WARNING: GENDERBENDING. FEM! UKI X SHUNSUI. PREGNANCY. Do not read this story if you feel squeamish. All things aside, pls read, review and enjoy (if possible!)!

Unohana didn't seem to even react after Ukitake's great confession and instead kept smiling and calmly kneading her tired shoulders. Ukitake looked at her in confusion. When your best friend just told you that she was pregnant, and the deed done by the greatest pervert and cad in school, Shunsui Kyouraku, one was supposed to, well, I don't know, scream and yell? Dance about the room in despair and wail out their utmost sorrow to the world? That would be absolutely fine and normal.

Ah well, no use worrying about that. As long as there was someone that she could depend on, right? With that thought, Ukitake allowed Unohana to slowly lead her to her soft, fluffy bed and lay down.

"Sleep, Ukitake-chan, I'll fix this." Unohana gently petted Ukitake's hair. With the gentle petting and the stress she had suffered as she worried on what to do, Ukitake's eyes started drooping. As she slowly started to fall asleep, the last thing she said was "Unohana-chan... don't.. don't kill him, 'kay? And please don't tell..tell.. Yamam... mm...zzz" Unohana chucled as her friend smiled goofily and fell asleep.

**Unohana POV**

I waited till Ukitake was asleep before allowing my true emotion to show, and that emotion was RAGE. I can't believe that cad Shunsui would dare to bed Ukitake-chan. And even if he did, a noble like him should have half a mind to at least wear protection, right? Dumbass!

In any case, I was unsure exactly what to do. Shunsui was a noble, and Ukitake was only from a minor noble family. Now that Ukitake was pregnant with Shunsui's child, he has the responsibility of marrying her... but the class differences would be a problem. Would the Kyouraku family accept Ukitake? If they didn't, they could actually force her to abort her baby.

I shuddered. Aborting a baby? Ukitake-chan loved babies, forcing her to kill her own would probably kill her!

After a bit of thinking, I decided that it would be best to inform Yamamoto-sama. He would probably know what to do.

~scene change-Yamamoto's office~

I knocked on Yamamoto-sama's office door softly and entered in when I heard a soft "enter". Respectfully, I bowed down and only stood up straight when he allowed me to. Yamamoto-sama was sitting in his chair behind his large wooden desk, looking at some paperwork. He peered over his paperwork and smile gently. "Ahh... Unohana. What brings you here today?"

I walked forward. "I have some info concerning Ukitake"

Yamamoto-sama raised his eyebrows. "Well, what is it then?"

I took a deep breath, this might not go well. In fact, Ukitake-chan had always been known as Yamamoto's pretty princess. Simply speaking, out of all the students in his academy, Yamamoto had always favoured and liked Ukitake more than any other student. Hearing the news of what Shunsui had done...

**Would probably result in Shunsui's death...**

A.N. Hah! Cliffy! Pls review, and please help me in finding out the names and incantations of famous kidos. All Kidos will be used to kick Shunsui's butt in the next chapter!


	3. Chapter 3: Butt kicking time

**A.N. Sorry for not updating sooner! This update was inspired by the awesome ****Defiant Vixen**** (May she be blessed!)! Pls forgive me! AGHHHH! *gets pelted***

*sticks hand out of pile of rocks* I'm okay!

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach and I'm not rich, so stop looking at me! Go sue some other millionaire! I'm not rich! *wails*

Warnings: there is pregnancy, mentions of WooHoos and Shunsui ass-kicking. Be forewarned.

**Chapter 3: Shunsui, you're dead**

It was a wonderful day.

Shunsui skipped along one of the paths in the school garden he loved so much. The sun was shining cheerily, the birds sang sweetly of spring, the wind blew softly through bamboo leaves and the soft trickling of water from a nearby stream just made everything feel incredibly... peaceful... and relaxing.

The perfect day to think of his recent "conquests".

Now, while most people thought of conquests as the number of hollows you've slayed, the number of people you've hurt... or killed, Shunsui was a one of a kind. With chiselled good looks, the charm of a devil and the supposedly gentlemanly demeanour towards all the beautiful gems (a.k.a. women... but Shunsui decided that Gems was better) of the world. Shunsui Kyouraku had tons of the most beautiful gems of the world falling head-over-heels in love and infatuation...

And occasionally, his bed.

Actually, they often fell into his bed.

Who are we kidding? All fell into his bed. Yes, that was how good Shunsui was at women.

Then what of his conquests? To put it simply, his conquests were hard-to –get women. Tough ladies, workaholics and goody-two-shoes were some of his targets. They all hated players like him. Conquering them was hard, but the results were wonderful.

So, as he sat down on a nearby bench, he thought back on the last week. There was a Mayu-chan, who was quite the kisser, Syuura-chan, who was supremely feisty and of course, the crème de la crème of all the gems in school. Jyuushiro Ukitake, top student, pet of every teacher, mother to the juniors, teacher to the seniors and most importantly, pseudo daughter to the headmaster Yama-jiji himself. Shunsui knew perfectly well that bedding her was nearly suicide with how protective Yama-jiji was of her, but still, no matter what dangers would come, it was well worth it. God, she was lovely to behold both when decent and when un-decent. Soft, silky hair which felt like the richest of wine slipping through his fingers; sweet, pouty mouth opened as she gasped...

Ah, that night had felt like heaven. And with how long he had waited, it was like ambrosia, food of the Gods itself.

He had waited for so long and finally, after one of the hardest scouting missions that they both had been assigned to, Jyuu-chan was tired, depressed and willing.

Ah...

_scene change_

Yamamoto was a patient man.

With how he had to live with so many naughty children, he had to be.

But he had his limits, and one of these limits was Kyouraku Shunsui... and now... at what he had done...

Yamamoto was angry. No, angry was too small a word. Furious? Nah, that didn't even compare to how he felt currently. He felt ... mad, insane. How dare that flirty cad! How dare that grubby pervert! Even his gentle Jyuushiro had succumbed to his whims. Jyuushiro... poor little Jyuushiro...

Unohana had to step away from her sensei as he radiated off an enormous amount of killing intent.

"Sensei?"

Yamamoto looked out of his window in the office and saw Shunsui sitting in one of the school gardens... even if he had to destroy the garden... Shunsui would pay! "Unohana, prepare a room for a certain Kyouraku"

He paused to stretch a bit of his leg muscles as he got up slowly, killing intent rolling off him in deadly waves. "Who shall be coming shortly."

Unohana nodded and stepped out.

Yamamoto took a deep breath.

"Hadou no. Byakurai!"

_Scene change_

Shunsui quickly jumped frightfully out of the way like a rabbit hunted by a wolf. Slowly, he looked up...

And locked eyes with the burning ones of Yama-jiji.

"Hadou no.33, sokatsui!"

'Arghh!" Shunsui had dodged, but apparently no fast enough, for there was a small flame that had started at his rear end. "and firing from his office as well! He's insulting me!"

"Hadou no. 63, soren sokatsui!" Two huge blue flaming balls flew from Yama-jiji's hands and with the deadly accuracy of a hunting hawk, it hit its target. Shunsui's rear end... just as Sokatsui did. This time, Shunsui's agonized scream echoed through the entire school.

_short scene change_

"Huh?" Ukitake slowly blinked. "Was that Shunsui?"

Unohana heard her and walked in smiling, "Sleep, Jyuu-chan".

"But..."

Unohana's smile reached epic creepy proportions. "Sleep."

"Ha..i."

And there! I'm ending on a cliffy! Review and tell me what you would like to happen next! Would you like Uki-chan to get married with Shunsui? I want it to happen! Come on! Tell me in a review!

An a thousand thanks to Defiant Vixen again, for without her, this story would not exist.


	4. Chapter 4: The talk!

**Chapter 4 is here!**

Disclaimer: I do not own bleach. So pls, a little pity. I have no money to give you, you evil lawyers!

Many thanks to Defiant Vixen!

**To may reviewers, thank you so much! You guys were the motivation behind this chapter!**

**Chapter 4: Shunsui's talk A.K.A. lecture**

With a sore rear end, a battered pride and a huge "what-was-that-for" patented Shunsui look #4 on Shunsui's face, he sat down on the hard and rough chair that Yamamoto-sensei had just dropped him on. He looked as though he had just went through a tornado and was currently fretting over a single flame that still burned cheerily on one of the tail ends of his gorgeous hair and certainly, felt that way.

Darn, he knew Yamamoto would get upset, but not that upset! What, it's not as though he got her pregnant, right? Come on, he was a big boy. He knew and practised safe sex. Out of all his conquests, none had gotten pregnant…. Right?

Right?

Oh, dear lord, please, no. Please don't let this be something about pregnancy.

Yamamoto sat down on the chair opposite to him and sighed. "Shunsui, do you know what you've done?"

"I can guess." Shunsui sighed and looked up, "I got Jyuushiro pregnant didn't I…?"

Yamamoto's expression told him that he had just hit the dot. Darn, why was he always so perceptive?

But, now, what should he do? He had gotten Jyuushiro pregnant. The honourable thing to do would be to marry her, or force her to abort the baby. However, Shunsui knew that he would never force her to abort her baby. Everyone in school knew how much she loved children. Shunsui would not deprive her of the chance to have her own.

Then what should he do, marry her?

"Shunsui, you know what to do?" Yamamoto questioned in that gravely voice of his.

Marry her? Well, this required thinking. What drew him to Jyuushiro in the first place? Was it her looks? Her grades? Her attitude? What was it, exactly, that drew this cad to this lady on the completely opposite side of the social spectrum? With a bit of thought, Shunsui knew.

He fell in love with her gentle touch, the way she looked at life, the way she walked and talked… He fell in love with her, heart, body and soul. He was not in lust. He was in love, with a woman he actually wouldn't mind living with this gentle and beautiful woman for all of eternity.

Yes, in a short and sudden moment, he knew what he would do.

"Yes Yamamoto-sensei. I will take responsibility and marry Jyuushiro. But not only because of the child…. I will marry her because I love her, and wish to take care of my wife and my child" Shunsui said confidently and for once, sincerity and determination shining in his eyes.

At this, Yamamoto smiled slightly but still asked in a cautious voice. "Your parents?"

Shunsui smiled and muttered, "they'll love her. I fact, I'll bring her home next week to see them…."

"If she agrees to marrying me… of course."

Sorry for the short chapter, guys! Pls review and give me more writing mojo! Thank you for staying with me!


	5. Chapter 5: Preparations 12

**Chapter 5: Proposing?**

** Uh… hi people! *gets stoned* Right….**so, recently, I've had a ton of stuff to do, but I'm finally somewhat free now, so, I'm updating! Hurray!

Warnings: uh…. This is chapter 5; do I still need to do the warnings? Fine, this story has fem!ukitake, and Shunxuki. But we all know and love that!

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. But I wish I did. Seesh…..

Shunsui paced around the hallway outside of his shared room with Ukitake, a thoughtful look on his face. Sighing wearily, he took off the large brimmed hat he always wore and stared morosely on the pointy tip. A few minutes ago, he had finally sorted his feelings out, but a few minutes later, he had no idea how on earth to broach the subject with Ukitake.

Marriage. Till death do us part. It was a heavy, once-in-a-lifetime decision that one made, well, only once. And even though Shunsui was pretty confident that Ukitake loved him and he loved Ukitake as well, he wasn't very sure how to… propose.

For all his romantic prowess, Shunsui did not know how to propose.

(Oh, the irony)

So, that was how he found himself pacing worriedly outside of the room, wondering what to do. Priorities first. Perhaps the first thing he should do should be to procure a ring?...

Right, a ring it is, then.

Finally grinning a little, he rubbed his hands together before concentrating and shunpo-ing for to a small and quaint little shop he knew in a certain area of Sereitai that sold the most beautiful yet simple rings that he was sure Ukitake would love. As he did so, he did not notice Unohana standing hidden in the shadows behind him, smiling happily…

And somewhat creepily, but as we all know, she always does so.

*scene change to the shop*

A few bells jingled softly as Shunsui gently pushed open the small ornate door of the shop. He looked around and perked up as he spotted the shopkeeper standing behind the cashier. Strutting forth, he smiled and waved to get the shopkeeper's attention.

"Yo, oji-san!" He dodged swiftly as the shopkeeper (who, by the way, looked like a young man of no more than 30) threw a large plate in his direction.

"WHAT IS IT YOU YOUNG URN!" the shopkeeper screamed. Shunsui chuckled before pointing at the various display cases that littered the shop.

"Any rings to recommend?" He asked cheerfully with a bright and cheesy smile plastered on his face. The shopkeeper jumped in shock and turned to face Shunsui with an incredulous look on his face. "What? I'm getting married! What's wrong with that?"

"You're getting married so young?" The shopkeeper asked as he picked up a cloth hanging off the cashier to wipe his hands.

"Well, yeah. Met the girl I loved and getting married… or at least, planning to propose."

"Ah well," the shopkeeper grumbled before leading Shunsui off to a display case on the far left of the shop which contained a few simple rings decorated with beautiful sapphire stones, "as long as I make a profit, I don't really care whatever kids do this days…."

*time skip, just coz I'm not very good at describing conversations*

A few hours later, Shunsui skipped happily out of the shop, his purchase kept safe in one of the many compartments that his Kimono had. The ring he had chosen was a simple platinum band dotted with several clear, blue sapphires.

Surely, he thought, Ukitake would like the ring but now…. Where to go?

As he stood there on the road, once again wondering what to do next, he failed to notice a figure that silently stood behind him.

"Shunsui-kun? Let's have a little… chat."

"Huh?" Shunsui turned slightly to look at the person who had talked to him, before breaking out in a cold sweat.

"Hai…. Unohana-sempai"

Inside, he silently gulped as he saw the downright murderous look on his sempai's smiley face.

**Okay, that's it for today! I know this chapter was a bit boring, but bear with me for a short while, kay? I'll make sure to write a super long chapter next! Don't kill me!**

**Pls read and review!**


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